Kid Cudi and King Chip's "Just What I Am," Vulnerability and Finding Self-Acceptance
Not much can change until you bring acceptance to what is, currently
Wishing, hoping, and praying that certain issues and emotions would disappear would never be enough. That was only half the job. How can I hope to rid certain issues and emotions in my life if I’m not being honest with myself?
To accept does not mean to give up, it’s a look at the current momentum and status you’re under, so you can best move forward.
You can’t deny what already exists, you can attempt to hide it, which eventually will hit the light. Once I accepted my flaws, doubt, self-esteem, pain, anger and more, I was able to begin the process of working through it all. This will take vulnerable action. The vulnerability with self is still difficult — admitting we’re not okay can feel like a crime. Taking it steps further, exposing emotions and allowing others to have an opinion is not a novice task.
Somehow, Scott Mescudi made it feel uncomplicated. Kid Cudi and King Chip’s “Just What I Am” holds levels of acceptance and vulnerability that allowed me to grow and become more comfortable in my own skin.
I’m just what you made God, not many I trust. Imma go my own way God, take my faith to wherever you want
“I’m just what you made God” — King Chip and Kid Cudi
The song’s chorus shouts “I need to smoke” and “need it to get by ya’ll.” There’s like a duality in the track that meshes a good time with the struggles of living. The lonely stoner linked up with the man on the moon for honesty and acceptance, ultimately becoming the help that many of us need. I hear about survival but I also can hear the thrive–this may come from Cudi’s energetic energy — much different from the energy that lives on a song such as “All Along.”
Cudi concedes that he needs this drug to get by and he also speaks about his shrink, retail therapy, losing friends, and accepting that he’s “so odd.” He accepts his current life and is mindful of his current and past bouts. He isn’t turning an eye on what actually exists.
Cudi’s honesty and love for himself on this track remind me of the book I’m currently reading, by author Matt Kahn, where he talks a lot about acceptance of what is currently taking place:
”When you are energetically sensitive, a modern-day spiritual journey is a transition from “fearing it all” to “feeling it all.” In order to find the courage to face the experiences that may have overwhelmed you in the past, a set of divinely inspired instructions, transmitted by the Universe, are available to you.”
2011: Coach O asked junior and varsity basketball players to write a paragraph about themselves. The exercise was used to help us grow closer. While these were guys I spent four years with, on and off the court, this would be an icebreaker. I took this serious.
So I went home and did just that — only I held back on how I felt about myself and life. After deciding to rip up the paragraph that only shed light on the good about myself, I opened up the closet door and let my teammates in. The room was silent as I spoke about my suicidal thoughts and low self-esteem, but it was a relief. I felt free. I didn’t care how anyone would take it. They took in the same air that I couldn’t manage to get through my chest, due to anxiety. Anxiety still lives but that moment was prominent for killing elements of the anxiety.
To look in the mirror and name the characteristics, doubts, issues, and pain that I held in did not go over so easy. Most will tell you to have a positive attitude if you want to turn your life around. Yes, true, but you also must admit the things you wish to change.
“Allowing difficult feelings to be in awareness means registering their presence before making a choice about how to respond to them. It takes a real commitment and involves a deliberate movement of attention. Importantly, “allowing” is not the same as being resigned or passive or helpless.”
Allowing others into your closet is scary — even for myself — a person who’s reaped plenty of benefits from allowing others in. I’m not here to act like I have it all figured out. I don’t. I’m here to relate to others — through empathy and shared experiences. The written word is my therapy. Though none of my bouts is anyone’s business, I allow it to be, because it helps others and myself. I’m not here for hide-and-go-seek, I’m here to help. This is my golden medium.
Learned the codes, serve up the magic for all of those
Kids that ain’t had someone on they own
Hang on the words, you each have your song
Grab on and hold on, won’t steer you wrong
Sing along, sing along, hmm — Kid Cudi — A$AP Forever (Remix)
We all have a voice and deserved to be heard. There’s a stigma about mental health and there shouldn’t be. How are we not talking about an illness that affects millions of people? If you’re reading this, it’s not too late.
If you or anyone you know are struggling with mental health or anything pertaining to life, you/they know how dim bright lights can appear. Through dark times, similar to the one you’re possibly going through at this moment, don’t be afraid to face the negativity. easier said than done, I know, but the incentive is for a healthier life to arise.
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